Darlene's Daydream Café

Book, Music and Lyrics by Vance Holmes


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Darlene's Daydream Café

Darlene's Daydream Cafe

ACT ONE - (Part 2)




PATTY: Willie? I've had it with Highlonesome. When are we going to set a date for our wedding? 'Cause if you're serious about us getting married and finding our own place and everything, we need to start making concrete plans for the move out of here.

WILLIE: I told you -- that's all gonna have to wait till I can get my mother to sell this place.

PATTY: Well, since we're just gonna be sitting around waiting the rest of our lives, we may as well wait up in Benson, where I can get my hair done at least. We're young. We're free spirits. Let's just get in the car and go.

WILLIE: We don't have a car.

PATTY: What about that Thunderbird you spent a fortune on? That's a car. Willie. What about that Thunderbird?

WILLIE: What about her? I still have a mess of tweakin' to do on her and doing it right takes time and until she's ready, I will not drive her a long distance.

PATTY: Benson's not a long distance. You just don't want to marry me.

WILLIE: I said I would -- soon as I get my hands on some money. Okay? Just make sure you back me up later when I try and talk some sense into my mother.

(CODY enters.)

CODY: Aw, Jay-Dub . . .

WILLIE: Aw, what?

CODY: You ain't never gonna convince ma to sell this diner.

WILLIE: I thought I told you to go fix me a biggie drink.

CODY: Here's your swamp water.

WILLIE: One part Coke?

CODY: One part Coke.

WILLIE: One part Pibb?

CODY: One part Pibb.

WILLIE: One part Orange-ade?

CODY: One part Orange-ade, and one part Seven-Up.

WILLIE: That's my baby bro.

PATTY: Here comes that drifter.

(DRIFTER enters.)

DRIFTER: Cody Joe Stupendous. You wouldn't happen to know where the nearest Greyhound station is, would you?

CODY: I'll find out. We've got the schedules somewhere.

WILLIE: Say, Mister . . .

DRIFTER: Yup?

WILLIE: While you were outside, did you happen to notice a 1968, sunshine yellow, Ford Thunderbird with a 429 Thunderjet, V-8, aligator roof and break-away steering?

DRIFTER: She's a real beauty.

PATTY: All you ever talk about is that damn car. Seems like you love that car more than you love me, Willie, and it ain't right.

(PATTY exits.)

WILLIE: She just don't understand, fellas. Any 1968 Ford Thunderbird's worth everything that a man has to give.



           
  • She's Built for Comfort

SHE'S BUILT FOR COMFORT AND MADE TO LAST

GIVE HER SOME OIL AND A LITTLE BIT OF GAS

THE SMOOTHEST RIDE YOU'LL EVER KNOW

OO THAT GIRL CAN GO

SHE GETS ME THERE IN THE MORNING

OR IN THE MIDNIGHT HOUR

CUSTOM WHEELS AND A V-8 CAM

FOUR-WHEEL DRIVE AND EIGHT HORSE POWER

WHEN WE'RE TOGETHER IT FEELS GOOD

I LIKE TO MESS AROUND UNDER HER HOOD

SHE REVS HER ENGINE AND I COME ALIVE

SHE'S BUILT FOR COMFORT AND MADE TO DRIVE

POWER BRAKES AND BREAKAWAY STEERING

FULLY LOADED FOUR-ON-THE-FLOOR

SHE JUST DRIVES ME CRAZY

WHEN SHE PURRS FOR MORE

I TAKE HER FOR A SPIN EVERY NIGHT

SHE GOES AND GOES I ALWAYS TREAT HER RIGHT

SHE'S BORN TO RUN AND SHE LOVES TO GO FAST

SHE'S BUILT FOR COMFORT AND MADE TO LAST

SHE ALWAYS KNOWS WHAT KINDA MOOD I'M IN

RESPONDS COMPLETELY TO MY EVERY WHIM

IF I GET DOWN SHE CAN GET ME HIGH

OO THAT BIRD CAN FLY

BODY IN MINT CONDITION

BIG BODACIOUS FOUR TWENTY-NINE

LUCIOUS REAR SUSPENSION

SEXY SLEEK DESIGN

I TAKE HER FOR A SPIN EVERY NIGHT

SHE GOES AND GOES I ALWAYS TREAT HER RIGHT

SHE'S BORN TO RUN AND SHE LOVES TO GO FAST

SHE'S BUILT FOR COMFORT AND MADE TO LAST



(PATTY and DARLENE enter. CODY exits to the kitchen.)

DARLENE: It's getting very dark out there. We're in for a bad one.

PATTY: Can I get you a drink? . . . Mister - what did you say your name was?

DRIFTER: I didn't.

PATTY: Well stranger - what should we call you?

WILLIE: Patty, he's not required to tell us his name or anything else.

PATTY: I was just trying to be mannerable.

WILLIE: Go put some clothes on, Miss Manners.

(WILLIE exits.)

DARLENE: Can I interest you in a piece of that strawberry pie? It's on the house?

DRIFTER: Well, maybe just --

DARLENE: That's what I thought! And I'll get us all a cold glass of fresh-squeezed lemonade.

PATTY: Make mine a double.

(DARLENE exits to the kitchen.)

PATTY: Oh my God, it's hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch.

DRIFTER: Where's the closest Greyhound stop?

PATTY: Closest bus station's in Jordan. That where you're headed?

DRIFTER: If that's closest.

PATTY: How'd you get here in the first place?

DRIFTER: Hopped on a train in El Paso. Jumped off a while back and just started walking.

PATTY: Hopping trains is dangerous. You're liable to run into thieves and jack rollers on them trains. I saw a TV show about this man who used to ride the rails and go from town to town killing different people. They could never catch him cause he'd hop on a train and skip town real quick. They called him the Boxcar Killer. You know anything about that?

DRIFTER: You're not thinkin I'm the Boxcar Killer, are you?

PATTY: Of course not. Besides he was a short man, and you're what...Six foot?

DRIFTER: Six foot a hundred and sixty-two pounds unshucked.

PATTY: Really. Well, how long you plan on staying around here?

DRIFTER: No plans. I'm just not sure how I'm gonna get out.

(Distant thunder. PATTY crosses to turn on the radio.)

PATTY: I might be able to steal Willie's car and drive you to the station. Maybe I'll even run away with you, and we can drive all night.

RADIO ANN: There's one accident on 191, northbound at Pearce where a car was blown into some poles -- also a truck on its side. Here's the latest on that big FBI manhunt. Federal authorities say they're looking for a man who killed a police officer up in Vermont.

PATTY: Oh, I want to hear about that FBI manhunt.

RADIO ANN: He may be going by the name Robert Alan Tracy. He is probably armed and should be considered very dangerous. Finance the home of your dreams with El Camino Mortgage. They make it so easy to get a home loan.

(DRIFTER crosses to change the radio station.)

PATTY: Why'd you turn that off?

DRIFTER: Just trying to find some music.

PATTY: Hey! That's my song! Come on, let's dance!

DRIFTER: It's too hot to dance.

PATTY: Dance with me, baby.

(THEY dance. The dance becomes seductive. PATTY attempts to kiss the DRIFTER, who backs away.)

DRIFTER: Whoa, slow down.

PATTY: You don't like me? What's wrong?

DRIFTER: Nothing's wrong.

PATTY: I'm sorry. I don't know why I just threw myself at you like that. I'm not desperate. Just a little lonely, you know? Sorry.

(PATTY crosses to change the radio station.)

RADIO ANN: With this big storm comin on - I just can't resist reaching back to my old stack of wax and hittin you with this golden oldie - "It looks Like Rain."

PATTY: Darlene, they're playing your song!

(CODY enters from kitchen.)

RADIO ANN: Sung by our very own little darlin . . . Darlene Staylee. Of course you all know she runs the Daydream Cafe over in Highlonesome, but some of you may not know she recorded this tune many years ago, and it went right to the top of the charts.

(DARLENE enters.)

DARLENE: And my life went right into the toilet.

RADIO ANN: Miss Darlene if you're listening - this is for you. "It Looks Like Rain."

DARLENE: Turn that off, Cody.

(CODY turns off the radio. Piano music.)

DRIFTER: So you're a big singing star yourself?

DARLENE: No I was never a singing star and I never wanted to be. That was my husband's dream. William Sr., was determined that I was gonna be the next Loretta Lynn, so he got a band together with a couple of his drinking buddies and booked us in every lousy saloon he could find. Clifford, I'm gonna chop off your fingers if you don't stop playing that.

DRIFTER: Did you make any money?

DARLENE: We actually got pretty good. Cut a small record deal and made a bit of money - most of which William and them drank up or snorted away.

PATTY: Sing it, Dar.


           
  • Looks Like Rain

DARLENE:

IT'S RAINING IT'S POURING THE OLD MAN IS SNORING

OUT ON THE WESTERN PLAIN CLOSE THE SHUTTERS AND GET INSIDE

BETTER RUN BETTER HIDE

CAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE RAIN IS COMIN IN



DARLENE: We rented a bus and took to the road. Those were some long hard days and long hard nights, but I did it for William. I loved him, and I wanted to make him happy. We spent two years traveling up and down the highways - singing and fighting and drinking. And that's when I got pregnant with Junior Willie. We got married on the road, and kept right on touring.

DARLENE, CODY and PATTY:

AND IT LOOKS LIKE THE SUNSHINE HAS ENDED

IT LOOKS LIKE CLOUDY DAYS AHEAD

YES IT LOOKS LIKE TROUBLE ROUND THE BEND

AND IT LOOKS LIKE RAIN IS COMIN IN



DARLENE: Then suddenly one horrible night in a Motel 6 in Ogden Utah, it all came to an awful end, and William was gone.

(WILLIE enters.)



DARLENE, CODY and PATTY:

CLOUDS ARE ROLLING ON CROSS THE WESTERN SKY

SOMETHIN'S COMIN FOR SURE

A CHILL IS IN THE AIR AND THE WIND IS RIDIN HIGH

YOU KNOW - THAT IF IT'LL RAIN IT'LL SURELY POUR

AND IT LOOKS LIKE DARK CLOUDS ARE COMIN

IT LOOKS LIKE GRAY SKIES AGAIN

OH IT LOOKS LIKE THE PAIN WILL NEVER END

YES IT LOOKS LIKE RAIN IS COMIN IN



DARLENE: I found him shot dead on the floor. A robber had apparently broken in and my husband fought with him and died in the struggle.

WILLIE: Or so you say.

DARLENE: Those were the darkest days of my life. But then my whole world changed when a few months later I found out I was pregnant with you, Cody Joe Stupendous! You came along and brought back the sunshine!

WILLIE: They never did find that robber did they?

DARLENE: No, Willie. They never did.

WILLIE: Strange.

DARLENE: Not at all. The police said there had been several robberies in that area.

WILLIE: The police never investigated the crime.

DARLENE: How would you know? You weren't even five years old.

PATTY: (At the radio.) Listen! Listen!

RADIO ANN: He may be using the name Robert Alan Duke Tracy. He's wanted for gunning down a policeman up in Vermont.

WILLIE: I remember, and the police never investigated. They never even asked any questions - and neither did you cause you were glad he was dead.

RADIO ANN: The FBI is offering a ten thousand dollar reward for any information that leads to his capture and arrest. This man is considered armed and very dangerous.

(WILLIE turns off the radio.)

WILLIE: Okay, now. We need to have a family meeting.

DARLENE: Not now. Can't you see we've got a guest?

WILLIE: Yeah, I see him. How could I miss him? He's the first customer we've had all month.

DARLENE: The wheel's still turning, but the hamster's dead.

WILLIE: Mommy, why can't you never listen to me?

DARLENE: I know what you're gonna say, and the answer is no.

WILLIE: No what?

DARLENE: No, I won't sell my diner. This is my home. And this is my hometown.

WILLIE: We need to think about selling now, while we can still get a little money out of it.

DARLENE: I won't sell my diner.

WILLIE: Wake up! The wolf's at the door, mommy. We're flat broke. It's time to face reality.

DARLENE: This greasy spoon has been my American dream come true and I see no reason to sell it.

WILLIE: Cooter, where do you stand? . . . Patty, say something. Okay -- well they agree with me, but they're too cowed to say it to your face.

DARLENE: If you all want to leave, then leave, but I'm not selling my dream.

WILLIE: Then, what are we gonna do?

DRIFTER: Turn it into a bed and breakfast.

DARLENE: A bed and breakfast?

DRIFTER: They're all over the place. Invite vacationers to spend the night at a historical landmark in the great southwest, and charge them an arm and a leg for a glass of juice in the morning.

DARLENE: Now there's the American spirit!

PATTY: Darlene's Daydream Cafe . . .

WILLIE: And auto body repair . . .

CODY: And bed and breakfast?

DARLENE: Delightful! And Junior Willie, we can use your room now that you're leaving! That's it! I'll redecorate and put a fancy sign out in front. And then I'll have to advertise. Darlene's Bed and Breakfast. I'm getting so many ideas! Thank you, stranger.

(DARLENE exits. WILLIE moves towards the front door exit.)

WILLIE: Yes, thank you, stranger. Thank you so very much. Little bro, thanks for speaking up. And gee honey, what can I say? You were such a big help.

PATTY: Willie, hold up! I need to ask you about something.

(WILLIE and PATTY exit. Sound of a soft rain. DRIFTER produces a rolled cigarette from his pocket and lights it.)

CODY: I found that Greyhound schedule.

DRIFTER: You smoke? Tumble weed.

CODY: Hell yeah! Sure. We better stand over here by the door though. Looky, there's a midnight bus headed to Tucson that stops in Foolsbasin. It isn't far. About twenty-five miles up one-oh-one.

DRIFTER: Thank you, Cody Joe Stupendous.

CODY: Oh, don't call me that.

DRIFTER: What should I call you?

CODY: Just Cody Joe. Or just Cody. Or Cooter. What should I call you?

DRIFTER: How'd you get that name?

DRIFTER: Cooter?

CODY: Cody Joe Stupendous?

CODY: From when I was little. I could never say the word suspenders. I'd get toungue-tied and say -- stupendous. So Mama started callin me Cody Joe Stupendous.

DRIFTER: I thought she called you stupendous because you are.

CODY: Yeah, well I'm not stupendous, or spectacular or even special, but I do have psychic visions sometimes. Rain smells good don't it? So, hey. You on the run?

DRIFTER: No, I'm just driftin, taking it all in. Going from east to west hitching a ride or stealing onto a train - learning old songs and meeting new people.

CODY: You don't got a job or nothin?

DRIFTER: I can't take a job, I got too much work to do. Guess I'm what you'd call homeless.

CODY: But that means you got freedom. I'm so sick of being stuck out here in the desert.

DRIFTER: Then why don't you and I cut outta here? Hit the road and ride off into the sunset. You CAN ride can't you?

CODY: Sure I can ride but I don't have no horse.

DRIFTER: We can get us a pair of horses. Two white horses. The good guys always have white horses. We'll just take off ropin and ridin from town to town like the cowboys did in the old days.

CODY: I know all about them cowboys from the olden days cause I'm an old soul. I was a lonesome cowboy in a previous life.

DRIFTER: Cowboys don't have to be lonesome you know.



           
  • Two Country Cowboys


NO ONE TO TELL US WHERE TO BE, OR WHAT TO DO OR WHO TO SEE

NO ONE TO TELL US WHERE TO GO, WHAT TO WEAR OR WHO TO KNOW

NO ONE TO STOP US RUNNING FREE

CODY and DRIFTER:

TWO COUNTRY BOYS OUT RUNNIN WILD, CONTENT AND HAPPY AS CAN BE

UP ON THEIR HORSES HAVING FUN, AND RIDING OFF INTO THE SUN

NO ONE TO STOP US RUNNING FREE

WE'LL SADDLE UP AND ROAM THE DESERT

LIKE BROTHERS FRANK AND JESSE JAMES

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT WE OUGHT TO DO

SAY OUR GOOD-BYES AND START ANEW

SOMEWHERE WHERE NO ONE KNOWS OUR NAMES

YOU CANNOT KNOW WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW

YOU CANNOT SEE WHAT YOU CAN'T SEE

BUT I'VE GOT A FEELING IN MY SOUL, THE TIME HAS COME FOR ME TO ROLL

THERE'S SOMETHING OUT THERE JUST FOR ME

CODY: Let's do it! Let's ride outta here like two buckaroos! Driftin from ranch to ranch, seeing if there's any work, rustlin up some grub, and then saddling up our horses and heading out again. WooHoo!

CODY and DRIFTER:

JUST A PAIR OF COUNTRIFIED, BONA FIDE, BOWLEGGED

OLD TIME COWBOYS

ROAMING IN ROAMING OUT OF A TOWN

TURN AROUND FOR THE TROUBLE STARTS

WE'LL BE SITTING TALL IN THE SADDLE, PREPARING TO DO BATTLE

GOT A STRAIGHT SIX-SHOOTER AND A LASSO AND A ROPE

AND A HOPE DEEP IN OUR HEARTS

NO ONE TO TELL US WHERE TO BE, WHAT TO DO OR WHO TO SEE

NO ONE TO TELL US WHERE TO GO, WHAT TO WEAR OR WHO TO KNOW

NO ONE TO STOP US RUNNING FREE

WE'LL RIDE THE RAILS HOP ON A FREIGHT TRAIN

WE'LL GO FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA

AND LATE AT NIGHT WE'LL BUILD A FIRE

AND DO WHATEVER WE DESIRE ...

TWO COUNTRY COWBOYS BEING FREE



(THEY laugh and dance. The dance becomes seductive. DARLENE enters and stands near the door. CODY and DRIFTER kiss. DARLENE moves into the room.)

DARLENE: Well . . . This one's a real toad-strangler. Cody go find us a bucket. We got a leaky roof.

(WILLIE enters followed by PATTY.)

DRIFTER: It's time for me to go.

WILLIE: Why don't you sit the storm out with us?

DRIFTER: I got a bus to catch.

WILLIE: What's your hurry, Duke Tracy? Robert Alan Duke Tracy. That IS your name, isn't it? Or maybe -- Todd Duffy?

DARLENE: Junior Willie, I don't need no trouble.

WILLIE: This man is wanted by the FBI.

CODY: What are you talking about?

WILLIE: The Federal Bureau of Investigation.

PATTY: It's true Cody. It was on TV.

WILLIE: There's a ten-thousand dollar reward on his head.

PATTY: He shot a policeman up in Vermont.

CODY: What makes you think he's the man they're looking for?

PATTY: Cause this cowboy fits the exact description.

DRIFTER: Thank you for your kindness, Darlene.

WILLIE: Patty, call the sheriff.

CODY: Wait. I'm going with you.

DARLENE: What do you mean you're going with him?

CODY: Up to Foolsbasin. Show him to the bus stop.

DARLENE: Bus stop? You're not going anywhere -- at least not in this rain.

WILLIE: And neither are you mister, cause I'm turning you in.

PATTY: Phone's dead. Can't get a dial tone.

WILLIE: The phone's dead?

DARLENE: You better get on outta here now.

CODY: Let me just grab a coat.

DRIFTER: You stay here, Cody. Darlene? There's something I wanted to pass on before I go.

PATTY: Do something.

CODY: You can't leave without me.

(WILLIE produces a gun and aims it at DRIFTER.)

DARLENE: William, put down that gun!

WILLIE: No one's going anywhere till this storm clears and I can call the sheriff.

(A flash of lightning. No motion. The stage is frozen in a tableau. Fading sounds of the rain and the radio.)

RADIO ANN: There's plenty of damage this afternoon due mainly to the rain and the strong winds. We're getting reports of downed trees, power lines, also power outages all across Cochise County. It's really coming down now. But neighbors, I think it's good for us. We need the rain.



End of Act One





Darlene's Daydream Cafe - Act Two  Act Two

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